New Year, Another Semester!

Some of our class at our Christmas Party. We were delirious from finals! 

Fall colors of Searcy, AR

Phewww! What a relief it is to have a semester under my belt! It was beginning to seem like we would never reach that light at the end of the tunnel having 9 exams within our last 9 days of the semester, but thank the Lord He got us through it! It is amazing to look back and see how much we have learned already and how the time has flown by. I feel truly blessed to have this opportunity to study what I'm studying. Although it can be very taxing of energy, sleep, time, etc, I can honestly say it is totally worth it. :)

We have had 3 weeks off school for Christmas break, which has been oh so wonderful!!! I had some adventurous outings and enjoyed doing some of my favorite things with some of my favorite people! My dad took me to a KLOVE winter tour concert, I enjoyed shopping the mall and eating at my favorite restaurants-- I saw Manu Ginobili at Cosi by the way! He sat at the table behind Gaby and I :) That was neat! What else...I saw a movie in the theaters for the first time since July! Visited my favorite coffee shops with friends, enjoyed lunch and shopping in Fredericksburg, visited my brother and his family in Corpus, experienced my first legit hunting experience, shot some big guns at the ranch, got in some good running at my favorite parks, went hiking with my brothers and stalked foxes through the woods, baked goodies, played games with the fam and.... SLEPT a lot.

My Aunt Debbie, me, and my Mommy on Christmas Day

Trips home never seem long enough, but tonight I was thinking... if it were any longer I would very likely get lazy bones and struggle to get back into the school routine. Yesterday I was just about dreading heading back, but tonight this sudden excitement came over me and I've realized that I'm ready to get back at it. I've heard that the first semester is the hardest. OH how I pray that is true! Haha. We took 21 hours last semester and this semester we are taking 19. The hardest part of PA school (in my opinion), is TIME. There is so much material and so little time to learn it. It is extremely fast paced, hence the '3/4 medical school in 1/2 the time.' It took a while for me to get into the right routine and figure out which studying techniques worked best for each class, and as well as each topic. I'm still not totally sure if I even figured it all out quite yet!

Hiking with my brothers :)

Sitting in the deer blind at Cory's ranch

Isn't it difficult to believe that another year has already come and gone!? The older I get the more I realize the truth in that our life is "but of breath" (Psalm 39). One of my favorite things to do during New Years is to set aside a couple hours of solitude to reminisce about the journey God took me on each year. I smile when I think of how He surprised me with a wonderful job opportunity the very first of the year at just the right time, which I absolutely loved. I'm thankful for getting many prayers answered, including getting into the PA school I had my heart set on, and especially for the one of my brother being healed from kidney cancer. There are also those prayers that went unanswered, which may have been difficult to accept at the time, but I am quite thankful for them now. He provided for me in so many areas of my life, including sweet classmates and new friendships, a new church and Bible study group, and strength to press through the tough semester. I was blessed with two amazing sister-in-laws, a nephew by marriage, and the news of a niece/nephew on the way! :)

Not every year is one in which we can look back on and easily smile. Some are filled with many joys, some are filled with many sorrows, and some a mix of both. But I have come to learn that no matter if it be blessings and joys or struggles and sorrows that we have to look back on, they are all for a purpose. I am constantly being reminded that God's plan is so far complex and above me that I will never be able to understand.... AND that it is also so wonderful that I will never be able to understand just how much greater it is than my own. Looking back on all the struggles of this past year, I realize that I wouldn't have many of the blessings which I am now appreciating if I hadn't gone through them. I can look back on a trial that was tough, but it was one in which He proved His faithfulness to me, and prepared my heart for a tougher one. I'm especially thankful that school was so challenging this past semester because it allowed me to rely on Him more, and because of it, my faith has grown stronger.

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." (James 1:2-3)

Keeping our eyes on Jesus is not easy, especially when we are vulnerable from the busyness of life, being worn out, and stressed. Times like those, Satan loves to take the opportunity to put negative thoughts in our minds which stirs up fear, more stress, and ultimately leads us to doubting God's love. Isn't that awful? I've been reading a book called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver, and I reached the discussion about all this the week before my finals. Tears fell down my face when I read the words "doubt God's love" because that's what I was doing that Friday after my test which I thought I had bombed. I was being overcome by fear and hopelessness thinking about those 6 finals I had to immediately begin studying for, that were just 2 days away. My thoughts were, "How in the world am I going to pass 6 finals that I don't even have the time nor energy to study for because of those other 3 tests I just took!? And how am I going to pass them when I can't even pass a section exam!? It is impossible to study an entire semester's worth of Clinical Medicine in 2 days! Impossible!" I called my mom and she snapped me out of that negative thinking. She said, "Lauren, that's not God telling you those things. You know who's putting all that doubt in your head, and don't let him!"

"In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil" (Ephesians 6:16).

Bedtime reading with my girl. Isn't she the best!?

Satan can get the best of us. Even if it's just those couple of hours after an awfully hard test... and if you believe him and focus on those negative thoughts it cause much more damage. I opened my book that night and cried because it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear from God to get my eyes focused back on Him. When I was stuck on negative island, stressing and worrying, I was really hurting Him... doubting His love. The truth is, God wants to take care of us. He has our best interest in mind. We can TRUST Him. We can work our hardest, but when we reach our limit, the point where we are out of time and out of strength, that's when we can trust the rest to God. He is able, even if we are not. When we are weak, He is strong. I studied as hard as I could for as long as I could. I prayed, rested, and left the rest to Him. And He provided. :)

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20).

Well, back to school I go on Monday morning for semester 2 of the didactic year. One more after that then it'll be time for Clinical Rotations! Yippe! :) Happy New Year! I pray that you might be encouraged by reading my post today. Let's not doubt His unfailing love for us!